5 Ways to Invest In Your Relationship With Your Body
Feel Good In Your Own Skin.
Maintaining a positive healthy relationship with your body nowadays can be difficult. There is so much noise all around us, telling us how we should look, how we should diet, pose for pictures..etc. Plus, all of us have absorbed values and messages and beliefs from our families of origin about body image that is hard wired and subconscious (unless of course you've done the work to uncover these messages). It's a new year, and a great time to start over fresh and cultivate a positive relationship to our bodies. Here are some ways that you can do that this year;
1. Dance!
Dance can be a great way to ground yourself in the present and immerse yourself in the movement of your body and practice staying out of your head. When I started dancing, it was extremely difficult for me to focus on moving my body, due to the loud voice in my head telling me how silly i looked , or comparing myself to others in the dance class. On the flip side, it can be a powerful tool to help you gain insight into how much noise and messaging there is in your head that can be unhelpful and detrimental to your self esteem. I think of dancing as a bootcamp for undoing lousy programming in our heads that are holding us back. You can even find an instructor whose focus is body positivity and confidence that can help take you to that next level such as local dance instructors; @dancewithharout and @josettetkacik.
2. Focus on the Positive! (the things you like about your body) and what your body can do. I use this technique a lot with my clients, as well as for myself. Think about the parts of your body that you do like. Jot them down on a piece of paper or imagine them in your head. Even if the parts are small such as; your eyebrows, your lips..etc. When you are getting ready to go out and socialize, or getting ready for your day, look in the mirror and focus on those parts. You can even say out loud (I know this is cheesy) “My eyebrows look awesome” or “god, I have amazing hair.” This will help create a positive mindset and confidence for your day. The second way to focus on the positive is to think about all of the amazing things your body does for you on a daily basis. Ask yourself “How many steps did my feet carry me today?” “How many things did my body allow me to hold, touch and feel?” “How many words did my fingers allow me to type?” (if you have a disability or physical limitation, you can think about how your tools and modifications allowed your body to do the things you need it to). Create a sense of appreciation and gratitude that can start to permeate your relationship with your body.
3. Focus on what you CAN eat and not what you cannot
A friend recommended this to me recently and it has been SO helpful. This also goes along with what nutritionists and dieticians often say that if you focus on scarcity it increases anxiety and a sense of deprivation. Instead of walking into a store and telling yourself “ I can’t eat bread” or “I can’t eat any dairy” , try switching the script and focusing on the delicious things you CAN eat that support your body and make you feel good. This tends to make me feel calm, collected and grounded and allows me to focus on nourishing my body instead of sending me into an anxiety spiral (which for some, can often lead to eating binges).
4. Follow body positive influencers on social media (flood your feed with the messages that serve you)This has been particularly helpful for my teens and young adults. Take some time to look through instagram and research accounts that represent body positive messages, make you feel more confident and accepted in your own skin and ones that emanate inclusion and diversity. You can search hashtags like #bodypositive or #bodypositivity. Or if you struggle with accepting specific things like acne, stretchmarks, a disability..etc , try searching for more specific hashtags to find accounts that might be more helpful to you. (Check out my other blog post "A Body Positive Instagram Feed" on body positive accounts to follow).
Lastly, take an inventory of your current feed and unmute or unfollow accounts that create a feeling of exclusion or rigid or limited representation of beauty!
5. Surround yourself with like minded others
Surround yourself with friends, colleagues and partners that have similar mindsets and outlooks on bodies and the meaning of beauty. If I am spending a lot of time around people who have low self esteem, or poor body image I find myself starting to turn on myself and I notice that my dialogue in my head becomes a bit more negative. If you feel you are lacking in this department and want to diversify your circle, try looking in places and groups that pride themselves in providing safe spaces for a wide range of people. Look for dance, yoga studios, or sports groups that focus on ability vs. aesthetics. Meet up.com can also be a great place to find inclusive groups as well. This item may vary based on your personality and what feels inclusive and nourishing for you specifically. Check out someone’s website or facebook page- are they highlighting members that only look a specific way? Or does it appear that the membership reflects and celebrates a diverse array of individuals.
Good luck! And if you’d like more support in this arena, consider hiring a therapist to guide you and support you in this process.
